Matt Owens Rees

“Are Thais shy?” is a question often asked by visitors and expats alike. Todays post, a true story in the Beyond the Bamboo Curtain series, gives a few examples and explanations. Readers comments are encouraged and welcomed. Post your comments in the reply box below and share your thoughts.

I asked my neighbour Geng if he had any plant pots for sale.

But it wasn’t a line he carried. His main business is the manufacture of garden ornaments and fountains.

I’d been very satisfied with an ornamental fountain I’d purchased from him. It was brightly painted and worked well. He hadn’t skimped on the paintwork. Most Thais add water to paint to speed up the job, but Geng hadn’t diluted his colours.

I asked if he knew where I could obtain some pots. It took several minutes before he said his sister sold them as a side-line to her small food shop. And several minutes more before he told me where the shop was.

It’s another Thai enigma. On the one hand, they can be extremely helpful; on the other, they may appear reluctant to part with any information. Does this show that foreigners are right to question, are Thais shy?

Perhaps they fear being wrong and don’t want to take responsibility. Or maybe Geng didn’t want to seem pushy by recommending his sister’s shop.

Same response at Dta Sompet’s funeral

Similarly, asking the time of the cremation at Dta Sompet’s funeral met with some hesitancy. Giving me the time straight away might have implied an obligation to attend. The family didn’t want to inconvenience me—their concept of greng jai. (respect and consideration for others).

They told me eventually. I had enquired about the time because I genuinely wanted to go.

In the West, that would be seen as normal practice. In Thailand, the response is consistently more roundabout.

Even after decades of observing cultural differences, one can still be astonished by their thinking and actions. We’re right to ask, Are Thais shy?

I found Geng’s sister’s shop eventually.

Thais don’t give precise directions. They rely on stopping and asking passers-by or making a few telephone calls.

I only had to ask once—better than my usual average.

As bad luck would have it, his sister didn’t have any pots for sale either.

I noticed three pots at the front of the shop, attractively filled with exotic plants. Obviously meant to entice customers to come in and buy from her store.

But she wouldn’t let me buy those. Another example of Are Thais Shy?

After a bit of chatting and joking, I got her to change her mind. Persistent, though gentle, persuasion sometimes works. Thais want to be helpful and avoid clashes—and you can play to that characteristic.

Try a bit of small talk, pootwan, and see for yourself.

The tourist couple in my post in Beyond the Bamboo Curtain weren’t being shy. They had an admiring audience.

Sometimes, WordPress won’t paste an internal link. It’s a known problem that regularly occurs. Just paste into your browser or go to my list of posts at http://www.MattOwensRees.com

https://mattowensrees.com/2025/11/09/a-couple-having-sex-at-a-waterfall/

A final thought on Are Thais Shy?




A lack of appropriate communication between the Thai and the Westerner is often the cause. Not anyone’s fault. A clash of cultures occurs when the foreigner talks very directly, as one would in the West but the Thai doesn’t want to appear forceful.

We usually ask a question to get an answer, to be informed. Thais are more shy in coming forward. Not wanting to appear “pushy” is something their culture teaches them instinctively.

If you’re British and watch Prime Minister’s Question time on Wednesday afternoons, or listen to politicians in other countries, you’ll se that not answering questions is not solely a Thai trait!

Communication is a big problem in Thailand and elsewhere in the world.

are thais shy?

So what do you think. Are Thais shy? Leave your comments in the reply box below and join the conversation.

And this link, from a research institute, may be of interest interest. (If Ctrl and Click fails, try opening in your browser)

https://www.bing.com/ck/a?!&&p=6378da2ff44bb1e33054a292d56812e8b5ed7b8af17256d22591616738fd53e0JmltdHM9MTc2MjgxOTIwMA&ptn=3&ver=2&hsh=4&fclid=20296dc5-5f94-6e8b-2760-7b5d5e536fa5&psq=thai+shyness&u=a1aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucmVzZWFyY2hnYXRlLm5ldC9wdWJsaWNhdGlvbi8yNDI0ODgxNzdfV2hlbl9TaHluZXNzX0lzX05vdF9JbmNvbXBldGVuY2VfQV9DYXNlX29mX1RoYWlfQ29tbXVuaWNhdGlvbl9Db21wZXRlbmNl

It’s a cumbersome process, but if you say you’re studying Thai culture, you can get the FULL article for free.