Thais and their Husbands

Don’t worry about the technical term projected vilification—today’s episode in the Behind the Bamboo Curtain series describes Suda’s fury when her husband hit her dog, and how she dealt with it.

I was surprised some weeks ago when I read a post on Suda’s Facebook page, just beneath a picture of her son’s pet.

Today she told me what had really happened.

Her husband had hit Lamyai for misbehaving. Whether it was appropriate or not is questionable.

Shaking the dog immediately after the event and saying “no” in a firm voice would probably have been better.

But I now understood her comment on Facebook. She was blaming a bystander, not berating her beau.

It is the Thai way of taking out one’s frustrations and fury without confronting the person you’re truly cross with.

You may notice it often in Thailand. It’s called prachut in Thai.

The Thai is actually directing venom at someone who has wronged them—just not always directly.

The person is letting the offender know what they really want to say, if culture allowed such candour face to face.

One’s rage is redirected—projected onto another person, animal, or even an inanimate object.

The substitute becomes the scapegoat, standing in for the source of the storm.

It’s a way of staying friends—preserving peace—by not directly chastising the person who’s truly caused your displeasure.

Suda was blaming the “nasty man,” but not her husband.

The anthropological term is projected vilification.

Thais also use a similar strategy when speaking contemptuously about someone.

Instead of naming the person, they might say, “Farang insists on talking to the manager,” or “Kwai is late for work again.

Kwai is the Thai word for buffalo and used to describe contemptuously a stupid person.



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3 responses to “Thais and their Husbands”

  1. Pimjasmine avatar
    Pimjasmine

    “I don’t have dogs but I love my three cats. I’d be very annoyed if anyone hit one of them. Your article was well researched and informative. “

  2. pimsiri avatar
    pimsiri

    “I don’t have dogs myself but I think it’s true that Thai women don’t like to show their anger to their husbands when they hit dogs. Thais tend to look for scapegoats and blame someone else. “

  3. Wife knows she depends on husband to live. You don’t break your own rice bowl

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