Matt Owens Rees

Are Thai Kids Spoilt?

A change of pace in today’s Behind the Bamboo Curtain—we’re stepping away from Khun Yai’s house for a few days to explore another slice of Thai life. (I’ll put a link below).— Not every day begins with cement and ceremony. No concrete mixing, no gossiping grannies—just a different look at Thai culture.

In the West, we encourage children to be self-reliant as early as possible. We know they will eventually leave the nest and we want to prepare them for the big nasty world outside.

We help and support them but we don’t insist on their always being there with us.

Thais support their offspring too but still need them close. After they leave home to marry or find a job some distance away, the children remember that support and help financially as much as they can. Their monthly salaries would be shared. They keep in regular contact.

Western parents foster independence in their children; Thai parents ensure they are brought up with a sense of nam jai, caring for others.

Thai youngsters are not independent of their parents. They will seek advice from mum and dad, close family, and those in the community who are respected.

At election time, they’ll be guided by what they hear. If they’re working on a construction site, they’ll take heed of what an older worker tells them and copy how he works.

Western kids are more rebellious. They don’t worry if they change their hairstyle knowing their parents may not approve. And in a sense their parents may be pleased they are beginning to think for themselves and do their own thing.

Thai youngsters would be forever conscious of not hurting their parents’ feelings (greng jai.) They would keep their thoughts to themselves; their foreign counterparts would be more open and not at all worried about being regarded as being too assertive.

What do you think. Are Thai Kids Spoilt?

The Thai cultural concept of Nam Jai explained

Western parents foster independence in their children. Thai parents ensure they are brought up with a strong sense of nam jai.

In the West, self-expression is a virtue; in Thailand, restraint is a sign of respect.

Nam jai (น้ำใจ), literally “water of the heart,” is one of those Thai concepts that’s hard to pin down but easy to feel. It’s that instinctive kindness—offering a seat, sharing food, helping someone out—without expecting anything back. It’s generosity that flows naturally, like water, and it’s everywhere in Thai daily life.

When children grow up in a world where every little whim gets indulged “just to be nice,” that same nam jai can slowly turn into something more serious. The line between kindness and being too soft blurs quickly. What starts as warmth can quietly lead to kids expecting things to always go their way.

A lady came out of a taxi and the handle of her suitcase broke. Immediately, a nearby motorcycle taxi rider stopped, taking the initiative to help and fix it back on.

A different take on Kids in Thailand from a foreigner perspective.


https://phuketcommunity.com/phuket-thai-life-with-kids-real-talk-from-the-sandpit-trenches/

This is the link I promised earlier in this post on “”Are Thai Kids Spoilt?

https://mattowensrees.com/2025/11/01/soldiers-at-khun-yais-house-2/

Background to the Khun Yai story

“A Fire‑Frenzy at Dawn

Khun Yai’s house went up in flames this morning. I learned of the blaze at 10 a.m. when the pooyaibaan (village headman) announced the fire over the loudspeaker.

From that moment on, I joined a throng of neighbours who drifted to the site each day. Volunteers surged forward instantly, backing the skilled local craftsmen who offered their tools and talent—often for free or a modest fee. Their collective effort turned a tragic loss into a steady stream of communal care.

After lunch on day one, I strolled through the garden and spotted roughly twenty people clustered together. Only the concrete footings and foundations survived; the teak walls and roof had crumbled into blackened wreckage. The scent of smoke lingered even two hundred yards away.

Before the pooyaibaan’s announcement, a few men had already rescued the refrigerator and whisked the daughter’s car out of the inferno, smashing a window to get in.

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How Thais Rally Around Community Crises

I’d heard Thai villages gather when someone passes, but I was struck by the same solidarity when a house burns. In Thai, this shared strength is called blawp jai (“collective emotional support”).

83 year-old Khun Yai and her family are now staying with her younger sister next door. Their new temporary home is already teeming with relatives.

Her daughter and niece were in the garden, chatting with the arriving crowd, and will return to their aunt’s place tonight.

Villagers recounted how the fire started, how swiftly people surged to aid, and the family expressed gratitude for the flood of household goods and cash.

All donations were first handed to the pooyaibaan, whose staff logged each item’s description and value. The inventory will likely be read aloud over the speakers later. In the West, donor names are usually kept private, so this public accounting felt a bit unusual to me.

Many Thais see this open tally as a sign of transparency—especially where mistrust of institutions runs high. Corruption is often described as “cheating,” a euphemism that carries a clear, if unspoken, meaning.

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Khun Yai: A Lovable Local Character

Everyone calls her Khun Yai, a respectful term for a grandmother; her given name remains unknown to most. Even as flames licked her bedroom, she refused to flee, only to be carried out later wrapped in a blanket.

Hands were everywhere, smiles were abundant, and gloom was scarce. This upbeat outlook helped me grasp why Thais often grin through hardship instead of wallowing in sorrow.

She lost cash in the fire, so I arranged for my bank manager to swing by and assess the charred notes. Smaller‑denomination bills survived mostly intact; the larger ones suffered severe damage.

In the West we might label that “bad luck.” I found myself laughing with the community at the ironic twist of fate.

I’ll touch base with the family in a week to see if the bank has responded.”

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